I didn't realize that it had been so long since I had a post. Sometimes the right thing just has to hit me before I feel like writing. Tonight something hit me.
RELATIONSHIPS
First off, let me preface this with the fact that I am single. While some of you may be wondering, what qualifies this guy to give relationship advice? Fair question. Let me explain my qualifications... I am single. I see everything from the outside looking in. I see the little things that are missed by people who have been together for years. I have had 30 years to see what not to do. Also, I could be completely wrong.
Here is my list of must haves in a relationship:
1. Trust- I feel this is the most important. Without trust you can never completely give yourself to your partner.
2. Priority- Your partner must be a priority, not an option. You need to let them know that you are willing to postpone that round of golf to spend time with them on that beautiful afternoon doing something you honestly can't stand to do.
3. Compromise- Love is about give and take... on both sides. It's the little things that turn into the biggest problems. Maybe she doesn't want you to leave socks in the hallway or maybe he doesn't want you to file your nails in the middle of the 6 hour car ride. Think about the little things and give in.
4. Responsibilities - Everyone has responsibilities on a relationship. Take ownership of them and don't pass the burden off. Maybe you have the bills, house upkeep, laundry, groceries.. whatever it may be.. make sure you take care of them. All responsibilities are shared, but don't be lazy and leave them for your partner.
5. Friendships- I believe it is important for all couples to have friends. Each person needs that time apart to create "me time". Just don't lose yourself in your friends and neglect your partner.
6. Family- I believe family involvement is a key role in a long term healthy relationship. This is someone that you want to spend your life with so family so its important that you take time to get to know who your relatives will be, family traditions and health of your partner. If your partners family has a healthy relationship, odds are you will have one as well.
7. Encouragement- This one is important to me. I have seen many relationships fail because of this. Be supportive of your partners ideas and ambitions. Encourage them to better themselves. Many people are afraid to do this because they are insecure in themselves... Don't be that person.
8. Finical Goals- Goals are needed so that you both have a clear plan to where things are headed. For instance, pay the credit cards off in 1 year, pay house off 3 years early, put back 10k for emergency fund. Money is the biggest killer of relationships.
9. Religion- This may come as a shocker to some of you.. But I believe that a solid foundation leads to happier families.
10. Happiness - Both partners deserve to be happy. If one is miserable, it's never going to work. It's easy to find excuses to hang on or say that the good out weighs the bad... but ultimately if you are not happy the relationship is doomed. Both partners should be constantly searches for was to better each other and put that smile on his or her face.
In the end all of this is just my opinion. I really don't expect anyone to head this advice. I have been in some good and bad relationships and learned most everything the hard way. There is one piece of advice my dad gave me when I was in high school that still applies today and I will someday pass on to my children...
Never date anyone that you wouldn't want to marry.
A very true statement because especially at my age, people don't change. So to the person who asked me what I thought of the situation... There's my 2 cents. For anyone else that reads... I hope you're happy out there!
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