Game On

For the past two years I have been working non stop. Pretty much everything in my life was put on hold. I didn't take time to enjoy life or take risks. I played everything close to the vest and safe. So far the past six months I have tried to enjoy life and get out of the rut I was in. It all pretty much kicked off with a bourbon trail that led into a trip to Hawaii. Now I have taken another big step, I have thrown myself head on into the dating world. Let me tell you, at 30..... it scares the hell out of me. The pressure is much greater at this stage vs. college when saying "hey, wanna hang out and grab a beer?" would do the trick. Now I have to try to be creative and prove that I am stable. It has been interesting. So that made me think, why so much pressure? Here are my thoughts on the situation.

1) We live in the South

Everyone from here knows that 90% of the people we went to high school worth were married by 23 and there is a good chance they are close to fielding a starting basketball lineup. I know that women feel more pressure, but so do men. My grandmother constantly reminds me that she had five matching picture frames, four of them house wedding pictures of her grandchildren and one is empty. You do the math. Awesome.

2) Unrealistic expectations

Everyone has seen the online dating commercials where everyone is have a great time going skydiving, whitewater rafting or taking some sort of cooking class on a first date. Seriously? How can a normal person in the middle of nowhere Alabama keep up with this? If it's a terrible date, do you really want to be strapped to the stomach of a stranger and jump out of a plane hoping that the parachute doesn't open just to end the date?? Thanks Match.com and Eharmony for making a lunch date in the park a let down. 

3) Stability matters

At this point in my life, I would like to know that I would be dating someone that is somewhat stable. I'm not talking about money either. While that is important, a relationship can't be based on income. It's just smart to know that the person is not about to go postal at work or duct tape me and toss me in a trunk of a car. 

4) Competition

Let's face it.... there are fewer fish in the sea than are advertised. We are not in the same shape we were ten years ago and the same barrel of single fish are getting shot at by everyone. This means that you have to prove that you have something that the acquired target can't live without. Be it a sense of humor, dependability, charm, money... whatever it takes. The only problem is everyone else is pitching the same thing. If you suck at marketing yourself, it doesn't matter how many fish are in that barrel.

5) Fear

Fear of the unknown adds pressure. Fear of rejection, acceptance, success, or just being scared senseless of just the thought of meeting a stranger for the first time. A little fear is a good thing, keeps you on edge and alert... but letting it consume you will shoot you in the foot from the beginning. 

6) The first date

Now comes the culmination of the phone calls, text messages and emails. The actual date. Is the same thing that was acceptable at 21 still in play today? Is opening doors looked at as old fashioned? How about the tab.... pay or split? Is a hug too much... not enough? Or is it like the songs you hear on the radio that say push you against a wall and plant a big fat one on her? Wait three days to call... is it ok to text after the date? Sounds crazy but these are all thing that ran through my mind sitting in my car waiting to meet. I know I am exaggerating a little, but that is just my experience. 

I do have to say that I have yet to be thrown in a trunk or been scorned for opening a door. I guess what I am getting at is dating is what you make of it. Times and circumstances change but the one thing that remains constant is you. No matter what, making yourself a marketable product is the most important thing to do in the single world. Work with what you have, don't lie and go with the flow. Who knows how my dating life will end up.... but one thing is for sure, you can't win the game from the sidelines. 

For Better or Worse

Tomorrow is November 6th. Everyone knows what that means. All of you out there have your own opinions and it's not my mission to change that. I just want to make sure that whatever your vote is, you vote.

I know, you are already starting to think that I have an agenda and want to use my social media footprint to push it (insert laugh here). I just want you guys out there to take some time to think about how much of a privilege it is to cast a vote. Many of you may have has family that fought in wars or know someone that is serving in the military now. That is an easy way to judge the cost of freedom. I encourage you to take a deeper look. Look at the Women's Suffrage movement that led to the 19th Amendment that allowed everyone to vote regardless of sex. Look at the Civil Rights movement battles that were fought. While the 15th Amendment stated that "The right of citizens of the United States to vote and hold office shall not be denied or abridged by any State on the account of race, color, nativity, property, creed or previous condition of servitude" in 1870,  many minorities still faced public discrimination until people like Dr. King took a stand. 

I'm not wanting this to be a history lesson, but without the ability to vote, none of this would have happened. I know that everyone has their own system of beliefs, that is what makes this country so great. Whether you support the war, gay marriage, abortion, prayer in school, social security, government bail outs or oppose them (the list can go on) make your voice be heard and vote. While you hear people say one vote won't matter..... it does. If everyone stopped voting, what would all the lost lives in the Revolutionary War, Civil War, WW1, WW2, Korean War, Vietnam, and the Middle East mean? I know that my ability to write my opinions and wake up every morning in a safe, sovereign state is all because I can vote. 

Vote Obama, Vote Romney... hell, right in a name. I don't care... Just take advantage of this privilege and make a difference. Your candidate may not win, that's ok. This country is too strong to fail because of one man or woman.

Educate yourself, make an informed decision... and vote.