Life Lessons

If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on.

That was a quote that Steve Jobs used in a speech. I know I have used this quote already, but it is one that I have written down and read a couple times a week. I consider myself to be head of the Continuous  Development department of my life. That means I am always searching out a better job, better home, better car, pretty much anything that I thought would give me a better life. None of this is done to be selfish or materialistic, just more so a drive inside me to see if I can do it. The down side this is I take chances.  I have taken two chances in the past few months   One has failed  and the other is flourishing. I always like to end on a happy note, so I will start with the life lesson learned. 

In August I left a perfectly stable, comfortable job at a company that I had worked with for three years.  I had found myself in a very comfortable income level, but not a very self fulfilling job. After a conversation I had with a friend of mine, my name was thrown out to his company. When I met up with them I was blown away with the sales pitch. They promised me everything and never blinked an eye when I threw out my salary, vacation or benefits demands. That should have been my first sign to back out. Nothing that good is true. So here I am in November. I have had a total of two weekends off and am averaging 60 hours a week in a position  for a company pretty much seems to be spiraling out of control. Tough life lesson learned on this go round. 

Now on to Rachel. I have met a beautiful, charming and sarcastic woman that has turned my world upside down. This friends, is a good thing. She has  been everything I have needed in my life. She keeps me sane when my job is crashing around me. As I have gotten older, I am able to  appreciate the qualities Ina relationship that are meaningful. My family has told me I the past that I was too picky. Well, it's paid off. Hell, I even took her home to  meet them. It wasn't just my parents, Rachel met the entire gang. I threw her to the wolves for three hours and she came out unscathed. My Mom now asks more about her life than mine. She won my family over just as easy as she won me over. I also have had the opportunity to meet her family. They were every bit as open and inviting to me as my family is to her. That's a good thing. Plus her dad is a retired cop... got to keep that dude happy!

Later this month we will move into a house that we got in Tuscumbia. This is a huge leap of faith on her part and an exciting new chapter in our lives. I can honestly say that I didn't settle. Rachel is a beautiful, brilliant young woman with a bright future... even with me tagging along. Maybe I won't screw it up!

Crazy Stupid Soul Mates

I'm a sucker for romantic comedies. If I pass the TV and "Notting Hill", "Forgetting Sarah Marshal" or "Just Go with It" is on.. odds are I will watch it. Tonight I was watching "Crazy Stupid Love" and the term "Soul Mate" was tossed around a lot in it. That got me thinking. How many times in your life have you heard the term "Soul Mates"? Steve Carell's character said that he met his soul mate at 15, and regardless of the circumstance in life, he would always love that soul mate. How many people actually believe that they are with or have a soul mate? Personally, I am a hopeless romantic. I keep waiting on that standing-in-the-rain-under-the-moon-in-the-middle-of-the-road-without-an-umbrella-moment-to-kiss-the-girl. So far that hasn't happened.

As for believing in soul mates, I do. I honestly believe my parents are soul mates. I believe that they would be lost without each other. Not to say that they could not have been happy taking other roads in life, I am just saying that there is a connection there that goes much deeper than just partners. This is exactly what I am waiting on in my life. I have had relationships that were rocky and some that were amazing, but I in no way have felt that I have had that soul mate connection. In past relationships, when times got tough or complacent, we split. Taking the easy way out.

I believe that there is truly one person out there that when you cross paths, everything changes. The problem is knowing when that moment happens and recognizing the significance of the situation. It may be that girl that you see in the supermarket or the girl that you meet while on vacation pumping gas. At some point the stars will align and you will bump into someone that you can't live without. I have friends that immediately jump to the reasons that I am wrong for saying there is someone you can't live without. These are the same guys that are never home, spend more time with the guys and hit the panic button when their wife picks up their cell phone. Obviously, that's not the type situation I would consider ideal.

Anyway, back to the soul mate discussion. Like I said earlier, I do believe that they are out there, however, I also believe it's not something that can be forced or sought out. Everything is on a timetable out of our hands. At some point that person will walk in and things will change. Until then, all that can be done is live life with an open eye and enjoy the ride.

Bucket List

A few months ago I was sitting around and thought I would start a bucket list. After some time, I came up with what I thought was a respectable list. Then I had another thought.. What happens if I complete the list? Is this list my final answer? Who can I drag along on my adventures? Then I snapped out of it and realized it's my list. I can change or modify it and there will be no butterfly effect to worry about.

I would really like to get started checking things off soon, so donations are greatly appreciated!!

Here is my list:

1. Travel to New Zealand
2. See a World Series game live
3. Take a hot air balloon ride
4. Have something I have written published
5. Throw a dart at a map, then travel there
6. Skydive
7. Go to every SEC stadium
8. Eat sushi in Japan
9. Donate $1000 to a charity
10. New Years in Time Square
11. Drive across the country
12. Be a contestant on The Price is Right
13. Visit all 50 states
14. Live on a beach
15. Meet a President
16. Play golf at Pebble Beach
18. See the Northern Lights
19. Watch a baseball game at Fenway
20. Learn to play an instrument
21. Pay of my student loan..... feel free to help

I'm 31 now and this is just the start of the list. Each one of these items can be a story of their own. Maybe by the time I kick it, I will have checked off a few of these. Time to start working on it because we are never promised tomorrow. Now, I just need to start a kickstarter to fund my ideas.

Packing Up Memories

Over the past few months my family has been making a transition. My parents have opened up their home to my grandmother. This has been a big adjustment for everyone. To be honest, I didn't realize the effect it would have on me. My Grandmother Wilson is the only grandparent I have living and although she would never admit it, she's not the superwoman she once was. Some health issues have forced her to make the painful decision to sell her house and move in with my parents. This has taken an emotional toll on her.

Here is a little back story on her and my family. From the time I was about 3 weeks old until middle school, my grandparents became my weekend parents.  I remember Mawmaw picking me up on Friday afternoon from school and taking my brother and I to her house just about every weekend until middle school. On Friday nights she would grill pork chops while Pawpaw set by the table listening to Deshler football games on the radio. We would always rent two movies, one for me and one for my brother. Still yet the best part was waking up Saturday morning to gravy and biscuit being cooked. After breakfast, depending on the time of year, I would go ride our go kart or my brother would go hunting with my grandad. It was the same ritual every weekend for at least 10 years. Looking back on it, I now realize that this was just my parents kicking my brother and I out of the house. Even if that were true, my best memories as a child were at that house. 

Selling her house has me thinking about how hard it is to take a whole lifetime with of possessions and reduce it down to one room at my parents house. I shiver when I think about selling off the stuff her and my grandad collected and cherished. Tonight I had a friend tell me not to look at it as reducing because she has enough memories to fill up 10 houses. That is a very true statement. She has seen a lot in her life.  She had 2 sons that grew up to be successful and Christian family men. She has seen 4 grandchildren grow up and start their own families. From those 4 grandchildren she has 8 great grand children. She also has a 5th grandchild she still mentors and tries to point in the right direction...... yup, that would be me. She isn't shy to remind me of the fact that I am the only one not married. I tell her that just because I'm not married doesn't mean I don't have kids to get a rise out of her. She is the last of her siblings alive and has lost a husband and son along the way. Life hasn't always been easy, but that is where family comes in. My parents welcomed my grandmother into their house without question. 

It looks as if the house is about to sell. A contract has been signed and now comes the time to start packing up memories. While I know that my parents house will never be home to her, I hope that she can continue stockpiling memories and enjoy the time that she gets to spend with her great grandchildren that are always there. I know that every time I pass her old house, nothing but smiles cross my face when I think about Friday nights, her cooking and Pawpaw sitting under his tree working on bicycles.

Relationships the Simple Way

I didn't realize that it had been so long since I had a post. Sometimes the right thing just has to hit me before I feel like writing. Tonight something hit me.

RELATIONSHIPS

First off, let me preface this with the fact that I am single. While some of you may be wondering, what qualifies this guy to give relationship advice? Fair question. Let me explain my qualifications... I am single. I see everything from the outside looking in. I see the little things that are missed by people who have been together for years. I have had 30 years to see what not to do. Also, I could be completely wrong.

Here is my list of must haves in a relationship:

1. Trust- I feel this is the most important. Without trust you can never completely give yourself to your partner.
2. Priority- Your partner must be a priority, not an option. You need to let them know that you are willing to postpone that round of golf to spend time with them on that beautiful afternoon doing something you honestly can't stand to do.
3. Compromise- Love is about give and take... on both sides. It's the little things that turn into the biggest problems. Maybe she doesn't want you to leave socks in the hallway or maybe he doesn't want you to file your nails in the middle of the 6 hour car ride. Think about the little things and give in.
4. Responsibilities - Everyone has responsibilities on a relationship. Take ownership of them and don't pass the burden off. Maybe you have the bills, house upkeep, laundry, groceries.. whatever it may be.. make sure you take care of them. All responsibilities are shared, but don't be lazy and leave them for your partner.
5. Friendships- I believe it is important for all couples to have friends. Each person needs that time apart to create "me time". Just don't lose yourself in your friends and neglect your partner.
6. Family- I believe family involvement is a key role in a long term healthy relationship. This is someone that you want to spend your life with so family so its important that you take time to get to know who your relatives will be, family traditions and health of your partner. If your partners family has a healthy relationship, odds are you will have one as well.
7. Encouragement- This one is important to me. I have seen many relationships fail because of this. Be supportive of your partners ideas and ambitions. Encourage them to better themselves. Many people are afraid to do this because they are insecure in themselves... Don't be that person.
8. Finical Goals- Goals are needed so that you both have a clear plan to where things are headed. For instance, pay the credit cards off in 1 year, pay house off 3 years early, put back 10k for emergency fund. Money is the biggest killer of relationships.
9. Religion- This may come as a shocker to some of you.. But I believe that a solid foundation leads to happier families.
10. Happiness - Both partners deserve to be happy. If one is miserable, it's never going to work. It's easy to find excuses to hang on or say that the good out weighs the bad... but ultimately if you are not happy the relationship is doomed. Both partners should be constantly searches for was to better each other and put that smile on his or her face.

In the end all of this is just my opinion. I really don't expect anyone to head this advice. I have been in some good and bad relationships and learned most everything the hard way. There is one piece of advice my dad gave me when I was in high school that still applies today and I will someday pass on to my children...

Never date anyone that you wouldn't want to marry.

A very true statement because especially at my age, people don't change. So to the person who asked me what I thought of the situation... There's my 2 cents. For anyone else that reads... I hope you're happy out there!