People change

It’s been a long time since I penned my thoughts. I try to keep my opinions and politics to myself. Probably because I don’t want to rock the boat with family, friends  or coworkers. Sometimes it’s just the easy way out. All of the political unrest has really had me thinking and I just want to tell a story about a turning point in my life. Something that has shaped me and who I am today. 

I grew up in Tuscumbia, Al. I went to a high school with around 400 students.  I wasn’t the most popular in high school, but I wasn’t an outcast. Somewhere in the middle of the pack. I played a couple sports and had a handful of really good friends. I grew up in a great family with hard working parents that made sure I had every opportunity in life that I needed to succeed.  I grew up living the small town dream. I had everything I could have needed... except diversity. All of my friends and I grew up the same, middle class and like minded. Thats just typically how life is in a small town. 

In May of 2002, my best friend talked me into applying for the Walt Disney World College Program with him. Little did I know what kind of impact being a lifeguard in Orlando would have on my life. 

On the first day of my lifeguard training class I was an ignorant kid from Alabama about to get the bubble I had been living in burst. When I unpacked my backpack I was approached by a girl was questioning me about my towel and if I knew how much it offended her. To me, the rebel flag towel was just something I thought was cool from spring break days. It was something that was common place on car tags and hats. I never once really thought about the symbolism behind it. I had never had anyone confront me and ask me what it meant. This was way before today’s pc culture.  That was a powerful moment for me. I tried to explain to her that it was just a flag on a towel and I didn’t mean to make anyone upset. I was embarrassed. I didn’t know how to get out of there without everyone labeling me. I threw the towel away and never picked up another one. This was day 1. I was educated that day. Thankfully I took it to heart and used it as a moment to learn from someone with a different opinion  

There were many other experiences while I lived and worked in Orlando that shaped me. I made friends from all over and learned a lot about how other families and communities operated. I went on dates with girls from different races. I met and made friends with people that were gay, from different countries, spoke different languages and were super friendly and open minded to a close minded teenager from a small town. I traveled all over Central and South Florida and fell in love with the coast. 

All of this led me to where I am today. I am more open to peoples ideas than I was 20 years ago. I have a great wife, Rachel, who is as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside. She sees the good in everyone and is teaching my kids the same values. She encourages me to travel and see more. While we are back in Florence for now, our souls still long for adventure and showing our boys that the world is big and needs to be explored. Hopefully they will have an opportunity like I did to get out on their own and have an adventure at a young age  

So now to tie this all back together. People are capable of learning and changing. I loved the way I grew up. I love my small town and my friends and family. I just had never been exposed to something other than my reality. So no matter what happens politically in the next few weeks, meet your neighbors, talk to a stranger, be open minded and don’t let something you may be ignorant about define you. Learn and change. I did and I believe I’m better off from it. 

Heads or Tails

It's been a while since I last posted on here. Honestly, I have been so busy I forgot that about my blog. Now, in the early hours of the morning, I sit in front of my screen wide awake. So many life decisions are running through my head. I really thought that at 32 I would have my life together and mapped out. I had higher hopes and goals for myself. The house, family, white picket fence, the job that pays well and balances social/ family life..... I wonder if it is possible to have it all. I have yet to get to where I want to be. Hopefully I am on the right track.

Through all the doubts, troubles and let downs in the past year, I can say that Rachel has been my constant light to look towards. I went six months without a job and now I have a job that requires me to work 3pm-3am on a constant basis with no weekends off. She is somehow still hanging in here. I feel like I am holding her back from achieving better things in life, but apparently she has more faith in me than I do. Hopefully I wont let her down.

As for the new job, well, its not really new at all. I am back at my old job making aluminum. It's a blessing and a curse all at once. While I walked back into the familiarity of the job requirements and crew, I also walked back into all the reasons I left. The stress, lack of respect, long hours, loss of family/social life have already started the beat down again. But hey, it's a job... and one of the best jobs in this area at that.

Who knows what is in the near future. I still have this desire to move to coast and just be happy. I am pretty sure that Rachel (and Gus) are cool with that also. The only problems are the doubts and fears of moving away from the safety net of my family and the area I have lived in for 32 years. I'm not old, but I am not young anymore..... time to make some decesions and live with it. It's funny... I get paid to make decesions all day, but I can't make the ones that are the most important..... my life.

Heads - somewhere on the coast
Tails - good ole Muscle Shoals

Seems like solid logic.

Sometimes Life Wins

I have always been the guy that is not afraid to take risks. I have always wanted to excel and have never been happy just being content. I have recently found out that sometimes it pays to be content. Literally. A few months ago I had a great job at Wise Alloys. I had the financial freedom to do pretty much whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. Now I make $238 a week on unemployment. The desire for bigger and better got the best of me. 

I was offered a job with Robbins. This was a company, I thought, offered me more than I had at my old job. From day one things went down hill. I walked into a situation where the plant manager, the guy who hired me, was fired. I immediately had a bad feeling about my future from that point. The new guy that was brought in was in no way prepared for the task he had at hand. He even mentioned a couple times that he did not want the job, but was placed there. After multiple months of six and seven day work weeks, the company and I split ways. Not my idea, but life happens. At the time I thought, no big deal... I will have a job in 2-3 weeks max. Here I sit 3 months later....... unemployed.

This has pretty much been a strain on every aspect of my life. It's tough to sit around and see everyone else going on happy while I still wonder how long before I get a job. I am either overqualified for simple jobs that would generate income or have no experience in anything other than manufacturing when I interview for something in another field. To make things worse, every major company in my area is either laying off or closing down at the moment. It sure would be nice to be looking forward to that vacation in June like always, but instead I am wondering how I am going to pay my bills after April. 

I know that I am not the only person that is out of work or that this has ever happened to, but that doesn't make it any easier. I know I have sent in resumes, made phone calls, filled out applications and sent countless emails and text messages to everyone I know that could possibly help me between here and Savannah GA. Still, nothing happening. When I tell people I will sweep the floor, they laugh, but I mean it. Pride has no place when you are looking for jobs.

I guess the whole moral of this blog is that sometimes there is nothing wrong with being content. I know everyone says that you don't realize what you had until it's gone, just wished I had listened. 

Life Lessons

If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on.

That was a quote that Steve Jobs used in a speech. I know I have used this quote already, but it is one that I have written down and read a couple times a week. I consider myself to be head of the Continuous  Development department of my life. That means I am always searching out a better job, better home, better car, pretty much anything that I thought would give me a better life. None of this is done to be selfish or materialistic, just more so a drive inside me to see if I can do it. The down side this is I take chances.  I have taken two chances in the past few months   One has failed  and the other is flourishing. I always like to end on a happy note, so I will start with the life lesson learned. 

In August I left a perfectly stable, comfortable job at a company that I had worked with for three years.  I had found myself in a very comfortable income level, but not a very self fulfilling job. After a conversation I had with a friend of mine, my name was thrown out to his company. When I met up with them I was blown away with the sales pitch. They promised me everything and never blinked an eye when I threw out my salary, vacation or benefits demands. That should have been my first sign to back out. Nothing that good is true. So here I am in November. I have had a total of two weekends off and am averaging 60 hours a week in a position  for a company pretty much seems to be spiraling out of control. Tough life lesson learned on this go round. 

Now on to Rachel. I have met a beautiful, charming and sarcastic woman that has turned my world upside down. This friends, is a good thing. She has  been everything I have needed in my life. She keeps me sane when my job is crashing around me. As I have gotten older, I am able to  appreciate the qualities Ina relationship that are meaningful. My family has told me I the past that I was too picky. Well, it's paid off. Hell, I even took her home to  meet them. It wasn't just my parents, Rachel met the entire gang. I threw her to the wolves for three hours and she came out unscathed. My Mom now asks more about her life than mine. She won my family over just as easy as she won me over. I also have had the opportunity to meet her family. They were every bit as open and inviting to me as my family is to her. That's a good thing. Plus her dad is a retired cop... got to keep that dude happy!

Later this month we will move into a house that we got in Tuscumbia. This is a huge leap of faith on her part and an exciting new chapter in our lives. I can honestly say that I didn't settle. Rachel is a beautiful, brilliant young woman with a bright future... even with me tagging along. Maybe I won't screw it up!

Crazy Stupid Soul Mates

I'm a sucker for romantic comedies. If I pass the TV and "Notting Hill", "Forgetting Sarah Marshal" or "Just Go with It" is on.. odds are I will watch it. Tonight I was watching "Crazy Stupid Love" and the term "Soul Mate" was tossed around a lot in it. That got me thinking. How many times in your life have you heard the term "Soul Mates"? Steve Carell's character said that he met his soul mate at 15, and regardless of the circumstance in life, he would always love that soul mate. How many people actually believe that they are with or have a soul mate? Personally, I am a hopeless romantic. I keep waiting on that standing-in-the-rain-under-the-moon-in-the-middle-of-the-road-without-an-umbrella-moment-to-kiss-the-girl. So far that hasn't happened.

As for believing in soul mates, I do. I honestly believe my parents are soul mates. I believe that they would be lost without each other. Not to say that they could not have been happy taking other roads in life, I am just saying that there is a connection there that goes much deeper than just partners. This is exactly what I am waiting on in my life. I have had relationships that were rocky and some that were amazing, but I in no way have felt that I have had that soul mate connection. In past relationships, when times got tough or complacent, we split. Taking the easy way out.

I believe that there is truly one person out there that when you cross paths, everything changes. The problem is knowing when that moment happens and recognizing the significance of the situation. It may be that girl that you see in the supermarket or the girl that you meet while on vacation pumping gas. At some point the stars will align and you will bump into someone that you can't live without. I have friends that immediately jump to the reasons that I am wrong for saying there is someone you can't live without. These are the same guys that are never home, spend more time with the guys and hit the panic button when their wife picks up their cell phone. Obviously, that's not the type situation I would consider ideal.

Anyway, back to the soul mate discussion. Like I said earlier, I do believe that they are out there, however, I also believe it's not something that can be forced or sought out. Everything is on a timetable out of our hands. At some point that person will walk in and things will change. Until then, all that can be done is live life with an open eye and enjoy the ride.

Bucket List

A few months ago I was sitting around and thought I would start a bucket list. After some time, I came up with what I thought was a respectable list. Then I had another thought.. What happens if I complete the list? Is this list my final answer? Who can I drag along on my adventures? Then I snapped out of it and realized it's my list. I can change or modify it and there will be no butterfly effect to worry about.

I would really like to get started checking things off soon, so donations are greatly appreciated!!

Here is my list:

1. Travel to New Zealand
2. See a World Series game live
3. Take a hot air balloon ride
4. Have something I have written published
5. Throw a dart at a map, then travel there
6. Skydive
7. Go to every SEC stadium
8. Eat sushi in Japan
9. Donate $1000 to a charity
10. New Years in Time Square
11. Drive across the country
12. Be a contestant on The Price is Right
13. Visit all 50 states
14. Live on a beach
15. Meet a President
16. Play golf at Pebble Beach
18. See the Northern Lights
19. Watch a baseball game at Fenway
20. Learn to play an instrument
21. Pay of my student loan..... feel free to help

I'm 31 now and this is just the start of the list. Each one of these items can be a story of their own. Maybe by the time I kick it, I will have checked off a few of these. Time to start working on it because we are never promised tomorrow. Now, I just need to start a kickstarter to fund my ideas.

Packing Up Memories

Over the past few months my family has been making a transition. My parents have opened up their home to my grandmother. This has been a big adjustment for everyone. To be honest, I didn't realize the effect it would have on me. My Grandmother Wilson is the only grandparent I have living and although she would never admit it, she's not the superwoman she once was. Some health issues have forced her to make the painful decision to sell her house and move in with my parents. This has taken an emotional toll on her.

Here is a little back story on her and my family. From the time I was about 3 weeks old until middle school, my grandparents became my weekend parents.  I remember Mawmaw picking me up on Friday afternoon from school and taking my brother and I to her house just about every weekend until middle school. On Friday nights she would grill pork chops while Pawpaw set by the table listening to Deshler football games on the radio. We would always rent two movies, one for me and one for my brother. Still yet the best part was waking up Saturday morning to gravy and biscuit being cooked. After breakfast, depending on the time of year, I would go ride our go kart or my brother would go hunting with my grandad. It was the same ritual every weekend for at least 10 years. Looking back on it, I now realize that this was just my parents kicking my brother and I out of the house. Even if that were true, my best memories as a child were at that house. 

Selling her house has me thinking about how hard it is to take a whole lifetime with of possessions and reduce it down to one room at my parents house. I shiver when I think about selling off the stuff her and my grandad collected and cherished. Tonight I had a friend tell me not to look at it as reducing because she has enough memories to fill up 10 houses. That is a very true statement. She has seen a lot in her life.  She had 2 sons that grew up to be successful and Christian family men. She has seen 4 grandchildren grow up and start their own families. From those 4 grandchildren she has 8 great grand children. She also has a 5th grandchild she still mentors and tries to point in the right direction...... yup, that would be me. She isn't shy to remind me of the fact that I am the only one not married. I tell her that just because I'm not married doesn't mean I don't have kids to get a rise out of her. She is the last of her siblings alive and has lost a husband and son along the way. Life hasn't always been easy, but that is where family comes in. My parents welcomed my grandmother into their house without question. 

It looks as if the house is about to sell. A contract has been signed and now comes the time to start packing up memories. While I know that my parents house will never be home to her, I hope that she can continue stockpiling memories and enjoy the time that she gets to spend with her great grandchildren that are always there. I know that every time I pass her old house, nothing but smiles cross my face when I think about Friday nights, her cooking and Pawpaw sitting under his tree working on bicycles.