Heads or Tails

It's been a while since I last posted on here. Honestly, I have been so busy I forgot that about my blog. Now, in the early hours of the morning, I sit in front of my screen wide awake. So many life decisions are running through my head. I really thought that at 32 I would have my life together and mapped out. I had higher hopes and goals for myself. The house, family, white picket fence, the job that pays well and balances social/ family life..... I wonder if it is possible to have it all. I have yet to get to where I want to be. Hopefully I am on the right track.

Through all the doubts, troubles and let downs in the past year, I can say that Rachel has been my constant light to look towards. I went six months without a job and now I have a job that requires me to work 3pm-3am on a constant basis with no weekends off. She is somehow still hanging in here. I feel like I am holding her back from achieving better things in life, but apparently she has more faith in me than I do. Hopefully I wont let her down.

As for the new job, well, its not really new at all. I am back at my old job making aluminum. It's a blessing and a curse all at once. While I walked back into the familiarity of the job requirements and crew, I also walked back into all the reasons I left. The stress, lack of respect, long hours, loss of family/social life have already started the beat down again. But hey, it's a job... and one of the best jobs in this area at that.

Who knows what is in the near future. I still have this desire to move to coast and just be happy. I am pretty sure that Rachel (and Gus) are cool with that also. The only problems are the doubts and fears of moving away from the safety net of my family and the area I have lived in for 32 years. I'm not old, but I am not young anymore..... time to make some decesions and live with it. It's funny... I get paid to make decesions all day, but I can't make the ones that are the most important..... my life.

Heads - somewhere on the coast
Tails - good ole Muscle Shoals

Seems like solid logic.

Sometimes Life Wins

I have always been the guy that is not afraid to take risks. I have always wanted to excel and have never been happy just being content. I have recently found out that sometimes it pays to be content. Literally. A few months ago I had a great job at Wise Alloys. I had the financial freedom to do pretty much whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. Now I make $238 a week on unemployment. The desire for bigger and better got the best of me. 

I was offered a job with Robbins. This was a company, I thought, offered me more than I had at my old job. From day one things went down hill. I walked into a situation where the plant manager, the guy who hired me, was fired. I immediately had a bad feeling about my future from that point. The new guy that was brought in was in no way prepared for the task he had at hand. He even mentioned a couple times that he did not want the job, but was placed there. After multiple months of six and seven day work weeks, the company and I split ways. Not my idea, but life happens. At the time I thought, no big deal... I will have a job in 2-3 weeks max. Here I sit 3 months later....... unemployed.

This has pretty much been a strain on every aspect of my life. It's tough to sit around and see everyone else going on happy while I still wonder how long before I get a job. I am either overqualified for simple jobs that would generate income or have no experience in anything other than manufacturing when I interview for something in another field. To make things worse, every major company in my area is either laying off or closing down at the moment. It sure would be nice to be looking forward to that vacation in June like always, but instead I am wondering how I am going to pay my bills after April. 

I know that I am not the only person that is out of work or that this has ever happened to, but that doesn't make it any easier. I know I have sent in resumes, made phone calls, filled out applications and sent countless emails and text messages to everyone I know that could possibly help me between here and Savannah GA. Still, nothing happening. When I tell people I will sweep the floor, they laugh, but I mean it. Pride has no place when you are looking for jobs.

I guess the whole moral of this blog is that sometimes there is nothing wrong with being content. I know everyone says that you don't realize what you had until it's gone, just wished I had listened.