It's been a while since I last posted on here. Honestly, I have been so busy I forgot that about my blog. Now, in the early hours of the morning, I sit in front of my screen wide awake. So many life decisions are running through my head. I really thought that at 32 I would have my life together and mapped out. I had higher hopes and goals for myself. The house, family, white picket fence, the job that pays well and balances social/ family life..... I wonder if it is possible to have it all. I have yet to get to where I want to be. Hopefully I am on the right track.
Through all the doubts, troubles and let downs in the past year, I can say that Rachel has been my constant light to look towards. I went six months without a job and now I have a job that requires me to work 3pm-3am on a constant basis with no weekends off. She is somehow still hanging in here. I feel like I am holding her back from achieving better things in life, but apparently she has more faith in me than I do. Hopefully I wont let her down.
As for the new job, well, its not really new at all. I am back at my old job making aluminum. It's a blessing and a curse all at once. While I walked back into the familiarity of the job requirements and crew, I also walked back into all the reasons I left. The stress, lack of respect, long hours, loss of family/social life have already started the beat down again. But hey, it's a job... and one of the best jobs in this area at that.
Who knows what is in the near future. I still have this desire to move to coast and just be happy. I am pretty sure that Rachel (and Gus) are cool with that also. The only problems are the doubts and fears of moving away from the safety net of my family and the area I have lived in for 32 years. I'm not old, but I am not young anymore..... time to make some decesions and live with it. It's funny... I get paid to make decesions all day, but I can't make the ones that are the most important..... my life.
Heads - somewhere on the coast
Tails - good ole Muscle Shoals
Seems like solid logic.
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